Most of you know, but my daughter was diagnosed almost 3 yrs ago (at the age of 1 yr old) with type 1 diabetes.
It has been a rough ride to say the least, and also a solo ride.
I am writing this tonight to voice my opinion on "thinking positive".
I know that there is alot of negativity, mourning, sorrow, grief, anger, & other feelings floating about the Diabetes community.
Sometimes the negativity is so thick that I see others jumping on board and following the same behavior. I worry sometimes about the "newbies" coming into the diabetes community and seeing all the negativity. Will they follow suit? How will they react? Will they think this is what D is about? How will they in turn handle D in their own homes and lives? Will they run for the hills and lose all connection with the DOC? How will their D child feel?
Having your child or a loved one diagnosed with Type 1 is no picnic in the park. This is now a life long disease, and not only does the type 1 have to deal with it, but we as parents, spouses, caregivers, etc have to deal with this beast. D changes EVERYTHING regardless of how positive we are. Does that mean we should let it consume us? Not at all! But unfortunately, sometimes it does.
We are all different, and handle things differently. Some grieve for a loooong time....some get the wind knocked out of them and get back on their feet and move forward, some hate life and do not understand why this has happened to them or their child, and others pull back and mourn, and go into a depression. *Not everyone can jump on the bull and ride like a pro the first round.
Personally, I am fortunate to be a very strong person and I did not have the DOC when my child was diagnosed, and I had no one to lean on, vent to, or even get advice from. I had no choice but to be strong, not only for myself, but for my 1 yr old child who relied on me to be.
We are all different in many ways, but yet so much alike in other ways. We are supposed to support each other, be there for each other, and help lift each other up. Not everyone can be strong or positive, and not everyone can be mad, angry, or sad.
We are all sleep deprived in some way or another, and sometimes we tend to take things personal, or we say things out of frustration or use different wording and someone's feelings get hurt.
Lets all be supportive and understanding and remember that we need each other.
5/16/11
1/13/11
Sleep they say....
Sleep they say.....
This blog is for everyone who can relate to others telling you how to take care of your Diabetic child or yourself, when they really have no clue! They do not know ANYTHING about Diabetes nor how to take care of a child with Type 1, but yet they always seem to throw their nickel's worth in. Sometimes, it can be a helpful suggestion....other times it is just down right annoying.
Statements and questions such as these:
Why don't you go to bed? She will be fine!
You need sleep too...
Send her to a sitter for a few hours so you can get some sleep...
No wonder you are tired, you stayed up all night playing online!
Why don't you go to bed when she does?
When you have a "normal" child that has no medical issues, you can go to sleep when your child goes to sleep. If your child is sick, you can lay them in your bed and snooze the night away knowing they are safe in your arms and guess what??!! They WILL wake up in the morning!!
When you have a baby that sleeps thru the night...do you wake up thru the night to check them? Do you stay up keeping a close eye on them and worry they will be ok thru the night???
NO YOU DON'T!!!! When your baby sleeps thru the night...you do too!!
Life is just not that way when you have a child with Type 1. There is constant monitoring thru the day & thru the night. There is no climbing in bed and going to sleep and not checking your child's blood sugars somewhere in the night and usually several times before you can finally rest assured that your child's blood sugars are in a safe range that you can actually get some sleep.
When a Type 1 is ill...they run very high blood sugars and ketones. They could go into a Diabetic coma and even die if you are not on top of those levels. If their blood sugars go too low, they could go into a seizure and either have brain damage or die. They require constant monitoring...which means very little to no sleep for you for the night...or even days or weeks!
When you have a normal healthy child, you NEVER worry about waking up to a dead, or comatose child...WE DO!!!! ALWAYS! We never know if we will see our child in the morning or not. Does that send chills down your spine yet?
Your child's body functions perfectly by itself...while my child's doesn't. Which means "I" am my child's pancreas. Do you even have a clue how hard it is to mimic the body?? It is not an easy task, but we do the very best we can, and if it means we are up thru the wee hours of the morning, then that is what we do. We play a very important and crucial role as a pancreas. Even the Doctors, who are professionals in this area have a hard time adjusting insulin levels...we are not perfect, but we try to be.
I am sure I am not alone in the Diabetes community, but I have not had a full nights sleep in 2 & 1/2 years...so you think it would be in my child's best interest for me to go to sleep when her blood sugar is at a dangerously high or low level and "hope" I hear the alarm?? Well that is too risky for me, therefore I stay awake to ensure her safety and well being.
I do not have a partner to nudge me when the alarm goes off and I do not hear it. I do not have someone that will do the next check, & I don't have a child who will wake up and tell me she is not feeling well....Therefore I have to be 110% sure that she is safe before I can go to sleep. And if I choose to mop floors, sew, watch TV, or play online between checks...what does it matter??
We will not risk their lives because YOU feel we need to sleep...we sleep when we can and we drink lots of coffee and cokes to make it thru the days. We are not stupid...we will get sleep and assure we are in the right frame of mind around the clock to care for our children.
So before you judge me or anyone else in my shoes...stop and think about how much you do NOT know about this disease and understand that we are taking care of our children in every possible way to ensure they not only wake up in the morning, and that they have the chance to live a longer healthy life.
This blog is for everyone who can relate to others telling you how to take care of your Diabetic child or yourself, when they really have no clue! They do not know ANYTHING about Diabetes nor how to take care of a child with Type 1, but yet they always seem to throw their nickel's worth in. Sometimes, it can be a helpful suggestion....other times it is just down right annoying.
Statements and questions such as these:
Why don't you go to bed? She will be fine!
You need sleep too...
Send her to a sitter for a few hours so you can get some sleep...
No wonder you are tired, you stayed up all night playing online!
Why don't you go to bed when she does?
When you have a "normal" child that has no medical issues, you can go to sleep when your child goes to sleep. If your child is sick, you can lay them in your bed and snooze the night away knowing they are safe in your arms and guess what??!! They WILL wake up in the morning!!
When you have a baby that sleeps thru the night...do you wake up thru the night to check them? Do you stay up keeping a close eye on them and worry they will be ok thru the night???
NO YOU DON'T!!!! When your baby sleeps thru the night...you do too!!
Life is just not that way when you have a child with Type 1. There is constant monitoring thru the day & thru the night. There is no climbing in bed and going to sleep and not checking your child's blood sugars somewhere in the night and usually several times before you can finally rest assured that your child's blood sugars are in a safe range that you can actually get some sleep.
When a Type 1 is ill...they run very high blood sugars and ketones. They could go into a Diabetic coma and even die if you are not on top of those levels. If their blood sugars go too low, they could go into a seizure and either have brain damage or die. They require constant monitoring...which means very little to no sleep for you for the night...or even days or weeks!
When you have a normal healthy child, you NEVER worry about waking up to a dead, or comatose child...WE DO!!!! ALWAYS! We never know if we will see our child in the morning or not. Does that send chills down your spine yet?
We can not just send our child to a sitter. That sitter has to go thru several days of training with our child's Endo, pump training with the pump rep, nutritional classes, and CGM training in order to care for a Type 1 child.
If you leave your child with an un-trained person, and something happens to that child, do you know you both go to jail for endangerment to a child? It IS that serious!
Your child's body functions perfectly by itself...while my child's doesn't. Which means "I" am my child's pancreas. Do you even have a clue how hard it is to mimic the body?? It is not an easy task, but we do the very best we can, and if it means we are up thru the wee hours of the morning, then that is what we do. We play a very important and crucial role as a pancreas. Even the Doctors, who are professionals in this area have a hard time adjusting insulin levels...we are not perfect, but we try to be.
I am sure I am not alone in the Diabetes community, but I have not had a full nights sleep in 2 & 1/2 years...so you think it would be in my child's best interest for me to go to sleep when her blood sugar is at a dangerously high or low level and "hope" I hear the alarm?? Well that is too risky for me, therefore I stay awake to ensure her safety and well being.
I do not have a partner to nudge me when the alarm goes off and I do not hear it. I do not have someone that will do the next check, & I don't have a child who will wake up and tell me she is not feeling well....Therefore I have to be 110% sure that she is safe before I can go to sleep. And if I choose to mop floors, sew, watch TV, or play online between checks...what does it matter??
We will not risk their lives because YOU feel we need to sleep...we sleep when we can and we drink lots of coffee and cokes to make it thru the days. We are not stupid...we will get sleep and assure we are in the right frame of mind around the clock to care for our children.
So before you judge me or anyone else in my shoes...stop and think about how much you do NOT know about this disease and understand that we are taking care of our children in every possible way to ensure they not only wake up in the morning, and that they have the chance to live a longer healthy life.
12/9/10
I have been chosen
Sometimes we take things in life for granted.
No one likes having a sick child, or having a child who's life is literally threatened by a disease.
We lose alot of sleep, stress, gain or lose massive weight, lose lots of hair, have enormous bags under our eyes, deal with many doctor appointments, around the clock constant worrying, 24 hour a day monitoring, and if they checked our blood, we would probably bleed coffee!
Do I hate diabetes? Not for a moment.
Do I hate what diabetes does to my toddler? You betcha!
Do I rant and rave thru the house pissed because I had plans and now my daughter's sick or has BG's of 400? NEVER!
I am a firm believer that we parents of Type 1's or other medically fragile children were chosen for a reason. We are stronger than we realize and have been chosen by God to take care of his Angels. I am very honored.
I also feel that however I handle or look at diabetes, is how my child will look at it. I would not ever want my daughter to be ashamed of her disease, or hate her life because she has hard hills to climb due to this disease.
I also feel that however I handle or look at diabetes, is how my child will look at it. I would not ever want my daughter to be ashamed of her disease, or hate her life because she has hard hills to climb due to this disease.
I want my daughter to take this disease and make the best of it, just like any other challenge in life.
She will have to be the one monitoring herself, and making choices that will be in the best interest of her care down the road. I want her to do this with a positive outlook, and I would never want her to give up and not take care of herself, therefore I choose to have a positive attitude about Diabetes.
I have met the most amazing people thru the Diabetes Community. People I would have never gotten to meet or talk to had my daughter been a normal healthy child.
I would love a cure as much, if not more than everyone else, but right now, there is no cure. So I will continue being positive, supportive, and grateful that I have my child alive and thriving to take care of, and I thank God everyday that she was diagnosed in time so that I have many more years to cherish with her.
9/27/10
Mexican Lasagna
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
Ingredients:1 big box of Velveeta1 box of Philly cream cheese1 pack of burrito or taco season1 med size jar of salsa-mild1 pack of 8 large flour tortilla shells1lb of ground beef1 small jar of spaghetti sauce
1 pack of shredded cheddar1 16oz tub of sour cream **jalepeno's & 1 can of rotel tomatoes for spiceylasagna**
Brown beef in skillet. Drain excess greases. Add burrito/taco season, salsa, & spaghetti sauce, and simmer
While prepping the beef, cut velveeta into thick sandwich slices, then cut in half. Line center of tortilla with 3 half pieces of velveeta. (in a downward position)
Using a butter knife, slice cream cheese length wise and spread on top of velveeta on center of tortilla. Wrap tortilla (loosely), and place in cake pan. Do this until cake pan it full, but BE CAREFUL....do not place them in too tight!!
Once completed, top tortilla's (in pan) with beef mixture and spread evenly. Dump entire 16 oz tub of sour cream on top of beef mix and spread evenly. Take 1 pack of shredded cheddar and spread on top of sour cream evenly.
****For extra flavor you can add Rotel tomatoes in with your beef mix, and Jalepeno's on the top of the cheese****
Place in oven until cheese is completely melted. Once cheese is melted, take out of oven and cool for approx 15 mins. Cut and serve!
9/20/10
Lesson learned!
Ok, I said in my post last night that little girl's #'s were looking good and I was going to get some sleep. (Especially since I had only 2 hours the night before) Maybe I should not have posted that, because shortly after I went to bed and started to doze off, Dexie started beeping...
She went from 178 to 98 in a short time! I had not changed any settings because she sometimes runs a different pattern for about 3 days and then goes back to normal. Now, for the past 4 days, she has been running alot of lows-all day and night, and prior, I had her settings tweaked perfectly! It doesn't happen often, but when you get those great #'s, you enjoy them while they last!
Needless to say, when Dexie started beeping, she woke up. I offered her everything under the sun, and she refused all of it. Finally she stated she would like a drink of Mommy's coke...we all know the stubbornness that comes with lows, and personally, I choose to avoid any further confusion and drama, so I thought great! She is willing to drink coke, not a problem. I poured 2oz of coke in her cup, she drank it, #'s came up to 154, and off to bed we went.
An hour later, Dexie started beeping yet again...LOW! She was 78! Again, she refused everything I offered her, but I finally got her to drink 2oz of juice. Waited for the 20 min check, and she was only 134. I offered her yet 2 more oz of juice and to bed we went. She was wired for sound and refused to go to sleep! I figured it was because she may be dropping still, and patiently watched her Dexie....
She needed juice 2 more times thru the night! And at this point, I believe the caffeine from the coke had kicked in and she was ready to get up and play. Being half comatose myself, it took me a while to realize she was wired from the 2oz of coke...
After the 4th low, around 7am, we both finally got a little sleep. In the future, I will NOT give coke thru the night! Lesson learned!
She went from 178 to 98 in a short time! I had not changed any settings because she sometimes runs a different pattern for about 3 days and then goes back to normal. Now, for the past 4 days, she has been running alot of lows-all day and night, and prior, I had her settings tweaked perfectly! It doesn't happen often, but when you get those great #'s, you enjoy them while they last!
Needless to say, when Dexie started beeping, she woke up. I offered her everything under the sun, and she refused all of it. Finally she stated she would like a drink of Mommy's coke...we all know the stubbornness that comes with lows, and personally, I choose to avoid any further confusion and drama, so I thought great! She is willing to drink coke, not a problem. I poured 2oz of coke in her cup, she drank it, #'s came up to 154, and off to bed we went.
An hour later, Dexie started beeping yet again...LOW! She was 78! Again, she refused everything I offered her, but I finally got her to drink 2oz of juice. Waited for the 20 min check, and she was only 134. I offered her yet 2 more oz of juice and to bed we went. She was wired for sound and refused to go to sleep! I figured it was because she may be dropping still, and patiently watched her Dexie....
She needed juice 2 more times thru the night! And at this point, I believe the caffeine from the coke had kicked in and she was ready to get up and play. Being half comatose myself, it took me a while to realize she was wired from the 2oz of coke...
After the 4th low, around 7am, we both finally got a little sleep. In the future, I will NOT give coke thru the night! Lesson learned!
9/18/10
Some of God's greatest gifts, are un-answered prayers
My life has been full of challenges. I thought several yrs ago that my whole life had just turned upside down on me. I was going down a path of un-certain changes. Trying to re-find myself and figure out who I was and what life had in store for me. Decisions were made for me (by someone else) that tore my heart in two, but I had no choice but to be strong and prevent myself from going down the wrong path (which is so easy to do)!
I did make some awesome friends through my journey, and also some seasonal people, you know, the ones that are in your life for a moment, then gone. I learned alot from my friends, and even from the seasonal ones.
It took me a long time to find myself. I first had to learn to "let go" of the past and what had happened to me. Once I did that, everything started coming together. Just like a puzzle, the pieces were connecting and things were finally clear to me.
It took me a long time to find myself. I first had to learn to "let go" of the past and what had happened to me. Once I did that, everything started coming together. Just like a puzzle, the pieces were connecting and things were finally clear to me.
I learned to like myself alot more and to accept who I was and what I represent.
Since my heart was shattered those years ago, I was and am very sceptical of dating and honestly, it gave me a bitter taste. I did not date at all for a few years, then found myself involved with someone I did not want to be with.
I was never out to find "Mr. Perfect" and have no intentions of ever being involved seriously again.
It is amazing that when I look back now, the person that made those life changing decisions for me was right, I am so much better off without him.
Since my heart was shattered those years ago, I was and am very sceptical of dating and honestly, it gave me a bitter taste. I did not date at all for a few years, then found myself involved with someone I did not want to be with.
I was never out to find "Mr. Perfect" and have no intentions of ever being involved seriously again.
It is amazing that when I look back now, the person that made those life changing decisions for me was right, I am so much better off without him.
I used to pray that I could have "my life" back, the one I was accustom to. I honestly think had that prayer been answered, I would not be happy.
So yeah, some of God's greatest gifts, are un-answered prayers.
Little did I know, there was a much better plan in store for me.
God knew exactly what he was doing, and I thank him everyday for helping me through my journey and for bringing much joy and happiness to my life.
So yeah, some of God's greatest gifts, are un-answered prayers.
Little did I know, there was a much better plan in store for me.
God knew exactly what he was doing, and I thank him everyday for helping me through my journey and for bringing much joy and happiness to my life.
"How God Selects The Mother of a Diabetic Child" by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice,
a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.
Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with
diabetes are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting
his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes
in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew."
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, Patron Saint Cecilia."
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's
used to profanity."
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles,
"Give her a child with diabetes."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so
happy."
"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give a child with
diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter?
That would be cruel."
"But has she the patience?" asks the angel.
"I will be at her side every minute of every day of
her life because she is doing my work as surely as if
she is here by my side. I don't want her to have too
much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity
and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off,
she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that
feeling of self and independence that is so rare and
so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I am
going to give her has her own world. She has to make
it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is
perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she cannot separate herself from the
child occasionally, she will never survive.
"Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than
perfect. She does not realize it yet, but she is to be
envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I
see ....
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice ... and allow her to
rise above them. She will never be alone."
"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his
pen poised in mid air. God smiles.
"A mirror will suffice."
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