I have been chosen

Sometimes we take things in life for granted.

No one likes having a sick child, or having a child who's life is literally threatened by a disease.

We lose alot of sleep, stress, gain or lose massive weight, lose lots of hair, have enormous bags under our eyes, deal with many doctor  appointments, around the clock constant worrying, 24 hour a day monitoring, and if they checked our blood, we would probably bleed coffee!

Do I hate diabetes? Not for a moment. 

Do I hate what diabetes does to my toddler? You betcha! 

Do I rant and rave thru the house pissed because I had plans and now my daughter's sick or has BG's of 400? NEVER!

I am a firm believer that we parents of Type 1's or other medically fragile children were chosen for a reason. We are stronger than we realize and have been chosen by God to take care of his Angels. I am very honored. 
I also feel that however I handle or look at diabetes, is how my child will look at it. I would not ever want my daughter to be ashamed of her disease, or hate her life because she has hard hills to climb due to this disease.

I want my daughter to take this disease and make the best of it, just like any other challenge in life. 

She will have to be the one monitoring herself, and making choices that will be in the best interest of her care down the road. I want her to do this with a positive outlook, and I would never want her to give up and not take care of herself, therefore I choose to have a positive attitude about Diabetes.

I have met the most amazing people thru the Diabetes Community. People I would have never gotten to meet or talk to had my daughter  been a normal healthy child. 

I would love a cure as much, if not more than everyone else, but right now, there is no cure. So I will continue being positive, supportive, and grateful that I have my child alive and thriving to take care of, and I thank God everyday that she was diagnosed in time so that I have many more years to cherish with her.

Mexican Lasagna

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Ingredients:1 big box of Velveeta1 box of Philly cream cheese1 pack of burrito or taco season1 med size jar of salsa-mild1 pack of 8 large flour tortilla shells1lb of ground beef1 small jar of spaghetti sauce

  

1 pack of shredded cheddar1 16oz tub of sour cream  **jalepeno's & 1 can of rotel tomatoes for spiceylasagna**

Brown beef in skillet. Drain excess greases.  Add burrito/taco season, salsa, & spaghetti sauce, and simmer

While prepping the beef, cut velveeta into thick sandwich slices, then cut in half. Line center of tortilla with 3 half pieces of velveeta. (in a downward position)

Using a butter knife, slice cream cheese length wise and spread on top of velveeta on center of tortilla. Wrap tortilla (loosely), and place in cake pan. Do this until cake pan it full, but BE CAREFUL....do not place them in too tight!!

Once completed, top tortilla's (in pan) with beef mixture and spread evenly. Dump entire 16 oz tub of sour cream on top of beef mix and spread evenly. Take 1 pack of shredded cheddar and spread on top of sour cream evenly.

****For extra flavor you can add Rotel tomatoes in with your beef mix, and Jalepeno's on the top of the cheese****

Place in oven until cheese is completely melted. Once cheese is melted, take out of oven and cool for approx 15 mins. Cut and serve!

Lesson learned!

Ok, I said in my post last night that little girl's #'s were looking good and I was going to get some sleep. (Especially since I had only 2 hours the night before) Maybe I should not have posted that, because shortly after I went to bed and started to doze off, Dexie started beeping...

She went from 178 to 98 in a short time! I had not changed any settings because she sometimes runs a different  pattern for about 3 days and then goes back to normal. Now, for the past 4 days, she has been running alot of lows-all day and night, and prior, I had her settings tweaked perfectly! It doesn't happen often, but when you get those great #'s, you enjoy them while they last!

Needless to say, when Dexie started beeping, she woke up. I offered her everything under the sun, and she refused all of it. Finally she stated she would like a drink of Mommy's coke...we all know the stubbornness that comes with lows, and personally, I choose to avoid any further confusion and drama, so I thought great! She is willing to drink coke, not a problem. I poured 2oz of coke in her cup, she drank it, #'s came up to 154, and off to bed we went.

An hour later, Dexie started beeping yet again...LOW! She was 78! Again, she refused everything I offered her, but I finally got her to drink 2oz of juice. Waited for the 20 min check, and she was only 134. I offered her yet 2 more oz of juice and to bed we went. She was wired for sound and refused to go to sleep! I figured it was because she may be dropping still, and patiently watched her Dexie....

She needed juice 2 more times thru the night! And at this point, I believe the caffeine from the coke had kicked in and she was ready to get up and play. Being half comatose myself, it took me a while to realize she was wired from the 2oz of coke...

After the 4th low, around 7am, we both finally got a little sleep. In the future, I will NOT give coke thru the night! Lesson learned!

Some of God's greatest gifts, are un-answered prayers

My life has been full of challenges. I thought several yrs ago that my whole life had just turned upside down on me. I was going down a path of un-certain changes. Trying to re-find myself and figure out who I was and what life had in store for me. Decisions were made for me (by someone else) that tore my heart in two, but I had no choice but to be strong and prevent myself from going down the wrong path (which is so easy to do)!

I did make some awesome friends through my journey, and also some seasonal people, you know, the ones that are in your life for a moment, then gone. I learned alot from my friends, and even from the seasonal ones.

It took me a long time to find myself. I first had to learn to "let go" of the past and what had happened to me. Once I did that, everything started coming together. Just like a puzzle, the pieces were connecting and things were finally clear to me.

I learned to like myself alot more and to accept who I was and what I represent. 

Since my heart was shattered those years ago, I was and am very sceptical of dating and honestly, it gave me a bitter taste. I did not date at all for a few years, then found myself involved with someone I did not want to be with.

I was never out to find "Mr. Perfect" and have no intentions of ever being involved seriously again.

It is amazing that when I look back now, the person that made those life changing decisions for me was right, I am so much better off without him.

I used to pray that I could have "my life" back, the one I was accustom to. I honestly think had that prayer been answered, I would not be happy. 
So yeah, some of God's greatest gifts, are un-answered prayers.

Little did I know, there was a much better plan in store for me. 
God knew exactly what he was doing, and I thank him everyday for helping me through my journey and for bringing much joy and happiness to my life.

"How God Selects The Mother of a Diabetic Child" by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice,

a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with

diabetes are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting

his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.

As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes

in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew."

"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, Patron Saint Cecilia."

"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's

used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles,

"Give her a child with diabetes."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so

happy."

"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give a child with

diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter?

That would be cruel."

"But has she the patience?" asks the angel.

"I will be at her side every minute of every day of

her life because she is doing my work as surely as if

she is here by my side. I don't want her to have too

much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity

and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off,

she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that

feeling of self and independence that is so rare and

so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I am

going to give her has her own world. She has to make

it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is

perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she cannot separate herself from the

child occasionally, she will never survive.

"Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than

perfect. She does not realize it yet, but she is to be

envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I

see ....

ignorance, cruelty, prejudice ... and allow her to

rise above them. She will never be alone."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his

pen poised in mid air. God smiles.

"A mirror will suffice."